


Know My Name, It Is Despair

by BlackBirdAolen



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: After Rebellion, Contracts, Despair, Despair and Hope, F/F, Hope, Magical Girls, Spoilers for Rebellion Story, Spoilers possible, Waiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-04-05 15:35:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4185261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackBirdAolen/pseuds/BlackBirdAolen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Homura is waiting for Madoka to come into her world, after she rewrote the laws of the universe and caused a new principle to rise. She is waiting... even lurking for her prey to come out.</p><p> </p><p>  <a href="http://ask.fm/BlackBirdAolen">Got a fanfic idea for me?</a><br/><a href="http://cheroshseiphar.deviantart.com/">My deviantART - full of original fiction.</a><br/><a href="http://blackbirdaolen.tumblr.com/">Snippets and ramblings on my tumblr.</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	Know My Name, It Is Despair

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: This story contains possible spoilers regarding the animated series of Puella Magi Madoka Magica, as well as the third film, Rebellion. Proceed to read only if you don't mind spoilers or if you know the storyline already!

The world had fallen apart after Homura had woken to her powers of darkness. At least, that was her own feeling about this whole situation. She still was unsteady, stumbling to keep everything nice and orderly how she had imagined it for Madoka to be, if she would ever reappear in this world. Of course, Homura believed that it would happen one day. Madoka might have been taken from the Law of the Cycle, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t take human form again, and that was just the way she believed in it. Homura might have been at the brink of losing her mind before, but she would not lose it this time.

She leaned back into the soft pillows she had gathered in the middle of her room, sighing quietly and watching all her gathered information float about. She had gathered every shred of information she remembered about Madoka, everything she held dear and everything that could aid her in finding her human shell in this forsaken world. It was annoying that it would happen like this, but it just was like that. She had known from the beginning that it wouldn’t be easy to find everything to her liking, but this was just growing a tad ridiculous. She had  thought that Madoka would wait for her with open arms, but it seemed that even with her having rewritten the laws of the universe, it was nigh impossible to control Madoka’s fate.

Strange really, how it all had played out. She had tried saving Madoka so often, just to realize she had utterly fail in her quest in the end. Homura had considered Madoka becoming a goddess a failure, and with tearing her from the Law of the Cycle, that didn’t mean that her mistake was righted yet. She still had to work on changing Madoka’s fate, which was harder to move than a broad stream. She knew that it still had been her doing that Madoka had become an as powerful bearer of karma as she had, but that didn’t mean, at least in her eyes, that it had to remain this way. And yet, it was incredible that she would have to suffer through all of this yet again. She was the new mistress of this universe. Her karma had grown about as big as Madoka’s. So, why was it still so hard for her to manipulate every detail of history to her liking?

There still were powers of the Law of the Cycle at work, that much was for sure, but Homura was confident that she had weeded out the most problematic ones. Sayaka and Bébé wouldn’t get into her way, the other witches were not of any concern to her, and as for Kyouko and Mami, the two of them had forgotten as well. The past was no longer, not in this universe. She had made sure to eradicate most of the traces of what had happened, even though some things had been inevitable. There still were dark forces at work, and there still were girls who had to become magical girls by entering a contract with Kyubey. However, Kyubey was very much aware what would happen if he abused the powers of those girls too much.

And yet, something was amiss, something just didn’t feel right. Homura sighed, brushing through her long hair and staring intently at the documents projected onto the wall. There was something she was missing out on, she was sure of that. But she still couldn’t tell what it was. This was the most bothersome part of it. She wanted to know what it was that she was missing out on, but she had no idea where to begin. Kyubey was of no help here, and the other girls would only be in the way on her search for the true Madoka she still desired to hold close. Homura sighed, summoning her gem again, and looking at the small ghost inside of it. It was the small spool of pink yarn, which had been ghosting through her witch’s world at some point. It had triggered her soul gem to become much more powerful, but she still struggled to grasp where it had come from.

In trying so desperately to save Madoka, she had spun a longer and longer thread of karma, which had become more powerful the longer she had gone on. Even just repeating that one month over and over again, it had become a task which she had been utterly obsessed about. Homura sighed quietly when she recalled fighting so desperately against Walpurgis. Those memories had remained on her mind, as suppressed memories, and often enough had caused her to have nightmares of the most bizarre kind. But it never had really bothered her until she had fallen into the deep sleep which had accompanied her change into a witch, which had followed the moment when she had given in to despair. Then, over the course of the days she had spent until she had hatched into a fully grown witch inside her soul gem, she had remembered everything. Every single painful time she had lost Madoka.

And it had nourished her decision to tear down the goddess Madoka had become, in order to get back the friend that she longer for so dearly. She had done the unforgivable, but that was something she could live with. She had been the bearer of pain all of her existence as a magical girl long, and she had suffered through much more while she had been inside of her soul gem, waiting patiently to break free, and to finally get back to Madoka. She had waited for such a long time, and she always had suffered. And that was the reason why she never had wanted to deviate from her plan. Once her mind had been set on keeping Madoka for herself, she never had let go of it again.

Of course, she could have become part of the Law of the Cycle, but that would have meant being close to and yet far from Madoka. It would have been even more unbearable than spending all of her life hunting after the dream of coming into a world where she would be able to save Madoka from her fate as a magical girl, and finally release her from the fate of either being killed or becoming a witch more terrifying than anyone would ever have fathomed. Neither was what Homura wished for. She wished for nothing more than Madoka being able to live a life without having to worry about what had happened to her in the past, and without the duty of relieving magical girls from her sorrows, before they would become witches.

So what if that left the girls in despair? It was not her concern. Or, rather, it was her nourishment to feel the despair of the magical girls. Kyubey was, by now, merely a catalyst for a contract with her personally. Homura chuckled quietly, sighing then. Despair was her name indeed… and she would remain the despair all those magical girls feared. She had destroyed hope. But she was sure that she had left at least a small spark. So, when would it come to her?


End file.
